In Defense of the Fair
Every fall we go to the county fair. I love the fair. I love the cool weather and watching the sunset over the city and eating things on sticks. It would be easy to put the fair in the same distasteful category as theme parks because it true that they too are loud, crowded, germy, and dangerous.
This was a banner year due to the addition of Purell stations every 10 feet. I no longer had to plan the eating of funnel cake before the petting zoo, and I didn’t have to save my $7.00 bag of cotton candy until I got home. Also, there was this new ride that I was so excited about. I can’t describe it, but it required the removal of my shoes and shoulder harnesses. Because of his height, Joe has a hard time with shoulder harnesses. Apparently the workers (I was going to call them carnies, but I won’t now) couldn’t get the thing to latch properly, which would make the safety light come on. I have underestimated fair workers because I never knew there were safety lights, much less that they were enforced. I almost hugged the man as I thanked him for not allowing us to be catapulted into the next county.
We bought tickets from a woman who looked like the “after” part of a crystal meth advisory poster. If she had been operating the catapult, I can’t say I’d be here to write this.
This was a banner year due to the addition of Purell stations every 10 feet. I no longer had to plan the eating of funnel cake before the petting zoo, and I didn’t have to save my $7.00 bag of cotton candy until I got home. Also, there was this new ride that I was so excited about. I can’t describe it, but it required the removal of my shoes and shoulder harnesses. Because of his height, Joe has a hard time with shoulder harnesses. Apparently the workers (I was going to call them carnies, but I won’t now) couldn’t get the thing to latch properly, which would make the safety light come on. I have underestimated fair workers because I never knew there were safety lights, much less that they were enforced. I almost hugged the man as I thanked him for not allowing us to be catapulted into the next county.
We bought tickets from a woman who looked like the “after” part of a crystal meth advisory poster. If she had been operating the catapult, I can’t say I’d be here to write this.
Labels: Me
posted by Cory at 10:26 AM
6 Comments:
No comment.
Ok, maybe one. Yes, I can sleep now that I know you're done with that insanity for another year.
*Going to wash myself in bleach now*
Normally I don't like crowds, but I LOVE the fair!!
"Because of his height, Joe has a hard time with shoulder harnesses"
that is the most provacative sentence i think you've ever written.
my mind is picturing joe two ways:
1) joe as a wee man. a little person if you will, who barely makes the height requirement to go on the rides.
2) joe as a giant. like andre the giant. the harness is too small. they need to use bungee cords to strap his massive frame in.
my apologies to joe if he is a man of normal proportions.
and he should know that if he is a little person, right now i'm finding them more than a little sexy (please refer to my post about the movie "the station agent").
i'll shut up now.
Ha ha! Actually, Joe is 6'4" and his torso is long. Normally he is not only pushed in from the front, but he's scrunched down from the top too.
Shoulder harnesses sound kind of S&M, don't they?
I love the Fair. Every year I travel back to my home town just so I can go to the County Fair. But then again, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl.
Thanks, Cory! Now I am picturing things in my head that should be left to YOUR imagination (not mine)!!!
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