Poor Baby

My cousin Jeff and his family visited us over the July 4th weekend. His daughter is 11 months old and is beautiful in a Sinead O’Connor sort of way (not that Sinead is beautiful – I think she’s a wretched bitch, but I’m trying to say that the child is bald.) So Jeff’s wife dresses the baby in head to toe pink, puts bows in her hair, paints her toenails, and argues the merits of piercing the child’s ears with her husband, all because she's tired of strangers saying “what a cute little boy!” So Saturday night my dad comes over, says hello to everyone, pats her on the head and says “Hi there little guy.”