Sunday, July 03, 2005

Another Reason I Don't Like Summer

As I sit here and watch the finale of The Real Gilligan’s Island, I am painfully reminded of how much summertime tv sucks. I remember the train wrecks that were Paradise Hotel, The Simple Life, and The Restaurant and how I actually looked forward to them every week out of absolute necessity. I am so glad that Gilligan’s Island is over because a) it was a stupid Survivor knockoff with no originality, and b) if Skipper Charlie said “It’s on like a chicken bone” one more time; I was going to rip off my skull and hurl it at the television set. I live in Redneckville, USA and I have never before heard that expression.

This summer the only things saving my sanity are Netflix, 30 Days (Morgan Spurlock is oddly compelling and totally sexy), and new episodes of Rescue Me. I was really excited about the new season of Bridezillas, but they have made it less of a documentary and more of a parody, replete with theme song and everything. I tried very hard to watch Being Bobby Brown, but was horrified and disgusted. They are complete morons. Case in point: they went to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas at the height of tourist season, with a camera crew, and then acted all put out when people stared and wanted their autographs. The strangest part is that Bobby and Whitney are absolute batshit crazy soul mates. They act like teenagers, and neither is worse than the other. It is perfectly normal to break into a slow dance in a crowded hallway or to dance and make up a song while buying sunglasses. I’ll probably keep watching, just for these moments, and to help me feel better about my own life.

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