Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Saturn Sucks Dick

If you value your sanity and happiness, never, I repeat never buy a Saturn product. I am sitting at home--while I should be at work--waiting for the roadside assistance service to come figure out why my 2 year old car won't start. Just last week I was at the dealership due to my "check engine" light being on. I never got a clear answer about why it was on, just that they were ordering a part and would call me. Must not be a part very vital to the actual engine to let me drive around for another week. This will be the second time that this vehicle with 22,000 miles has had to be towed to the dealership. I drove a Nissan for 11 years and 130,000 miles and never had to do anything but replace the brakes once. I am as patriotic as the next person and believe in keeping jobs for the citizens of America, but my selfish needs win out here: I WILL NEVER BUY ANOTHER FUCKING AMERICAN MADE CAR FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE. The service manager at Saturn and I have become buddies, and while she is lovely, this should never happen. Every time I've had work done they give me a comment card to fill out. Were you satisfied with your service visit? Yes. Were you satisfied with the work done on your vehicle? Yes. Would you recommend Saturn of Regency? No. And then I fill up the whole card with my own comments about how the best customer service in the world does not negate the fact that you sell a shitty product. No wonder they have such great customer service. They have to overcompensate. They're like a man who drives a Corvette to overcompensate for his small penis.

On a lighter note: Tom Cruise is making a complete ass of himself. His publicist needs to jack him up by his shirt collar and say "look dude, you're acting like an asshole." It was excruciating to watch him on Oprah the other day. If I were Katie Holmes I would be completely turned off and slightly terrified that he was going to kill me in my sleep and make a suit from my skin. Ick.

Grrr. This is an odd phenomenon that I have found since I began working: everytime you have a Monday off for a holiday, the Tuesday following is twice as bad as any normal Monday would have been. It's almost not even worth it. Almost.

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