Friday, July 15, 2005

Ratings, Reviews, and a few Rantings.

Dark Water – I am a huge Jennifer Connelly, psychological thriller, and NYC fan, but none of those things could save this movie. While the plot was somewhat clever, I felt like the same scenes were being repeated over and over. I believe that Joe took a quick nap in the theatre, I don’t like sad endings, I had to check my watch at some point, and therefore I give it a C-. Sorry, Jennifer.

War of the Worlds – I protested seeing this movie ever since Tom Cruise went off the deep end, but it was raining all weekend, I wanted popcorn, and there were very few movies that we could agree on. I honestly didn’t want to put another dime in that maniac’s pocket, or should I say the Church of Scientology’s pocket. I do like Dakota Fanning even though she’s in a really awkward stage right now. Again, the whole movie was the same scene over and over with the running and the carrying and the destroying of the people. Highly implausible ending. I did have to check my watch more than once and the blood grossed me out, so I give it a C.

Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge ice cream – Holy crap this is good. It may just replace Baskin Robbins’ Jamoca Almond Fudge because it is as creamy and rich as Hagaan Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s. The only drawback is that it is loaded with caffeine and I have to be overly conscious of what time I eat it. That and the fat content alone, which I try not to think about. There is the added bonus that I am the only one in the house who likes coffee-flavored products, so I don’t have to worry about sharing. I give it an A.

Starbucks Lemon Crumb bar (do you sense a pattern here?) – since I worked at Starbucks for about 9 months a few years ago, it has taken this long to even want to purchase anything out of their dessert case. Not that it is poor quality, or mishandled in a disgusting fashion, but because I was sick of everything they make. This lemon crumb bar threw me against the wall, snatched me up by my shirt collar and said “you will start to come here several times a week again, bitch.” The lemony goodness was like that in a lemon bar. There was minimal crust which gives me heartburn, so that was good. I didn’t really need the crumb topping, but the best part was the consistency the lemon filling took when it was refrigerated. Yowza. I give it an A.

My new faux feather mattress topper – I don’t even know the brand name, nor do I care, just that I bought it at Target, had a wonderful night’s sleep last night, and am no longer dying a slow and painful death by way of feather allergens. A++

Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities – It's rare that I buy a new book and pay full price for it. I was so excited when I saw this book – it was actually on the New York Times’ bestseller list, and while I don’t have total disdain for sororities, I witnessed a fair share of fucked up practices, rituals, customs, and beliefs while visiting my friend Barbara at UF in the early 90’s. I can’t make it to page 20 in this book. The writer can’t decide if she wants it to be documentary style, or if she wants it to read like a novel. I can’t keep up with all the names and combinations of Greek letters. It makes my head hurt. I am determined to finish it though and pass it on to my friends who were in sororities so that we can chat since I can’t find a book club in my city of 1 million people. So far I give it an F.

Equate Exfoliating Daily Facial Cloths – fuck these. Anything that is Equate brand automatically goes down several points before it is even opened. How this all happened: 1. I found myself at Wal Mart for reasons I don’t remember - maybe my blood sugar was low. 2. I remember that I need something to clean my face with. 3. I buy the largest package of these that I can find so that I don’t have to come back to Wal Mart this year. 4. My face breaks out immediately. 5. I am stuck with 179 more of these. Lesson learned: go with your instincts and stay the hell away from Wal Mart. F-

Prozac Nation – Why? Books should never be made into movies, or maybe I should just stop reading altogether so that I’m never disappointed. This movie blew. It jumped from here to there and back again, and so much was skipped over because it was only 96 minutes long. Christina Ricci could not have been better cast as Elizabeth because she is a dead ringer. Jessica Lange was the high point – I love when she plays crazy. She did a bang-up job. Now I have to read the book again to sort out some of the confusion in my head. I give it a D+ only because of Jessica.



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