Once a Smart Ass, Always a Smart Ass

Albertson’s grocery stores have gone out of business, at least in this area. I have never enjoyed shopping at Albertsons, and have spent many frustrating moments trying to figure out why the spices are located next to the sunscreen, and why the pickles are in the cookie aisle. Some stores were sold to Publix, but the one closest to me was sold to Rowe’s, which I have never heard of. Rowe’s is affiliated with the Independent Grocer’s Association, or IGA.

When I saw the familiar IGA sign it brought me back to a time in my late teens when I lived in a town with one stop light and worked in a small grocery store which was a member of the IGA. My uniform consisted of a red smock with an oval IGA patch sewn on, which included the registered trademark symbol. I cannot even count how many morons said “Thanks IGA” (rhymes with Ida), or asked me if IGA was my name. In my smart ass 17-year-old mind I would always think “Yes, you dumb fuck. My Mom named me IGA, then registered my name as a trademark, then embroidered it onto a patch so I could look just like the mechanics across the street.”

My thought patterns haven’t changed very much in the past 15 years.