Happy Monday

I'm a lucky woman. I am 32 and have the skin problems of someone 20 years younger than me. My skin seems to get worse as the years go by. Just for kicks I went on Sonya Dakar's website and asked for a skincare analysis or some crap. This is what I got back:

After reviewing your information, I have come up with a regimen to work with your skin type. I have chosen:

Bergamot Wash: (am & pm) Soothing wash that leaves skin feeling soft and pure while ridding excess oils…No harsh drying detergents
Triple Action Organic Scrub: (Irritation) (pm, 3x/week) Decongest pores w/ linipack seeds (3 sizes) to deep pore cleanse, polish, and brighten.
Irritation Relief Complex: Therapeutic skin prep to reduce redness and sensitivity…w/ bacopa monniera and marine extracts!
Aromasol Mist: (Acne) (am & as needed, throughout day) Post cleansing toner and shine control (for your purse), antibacterial…NO Alcohol…this will help control unnecessary breakouts by eliminating bacteria!!!!
Seaweed Liposomes Gel: (Acne) (am &pm)Direct topical vitamin boost to the skin…protect against free radical damage and detox for skin
Cellular Patch Cream: Proven to reduce wrinkles, increase collagen synthesis, and firm by 55%!
Omega-3 Repair Complex: (Discoloration) (am & pm) Strengthens skin…essential for healthy tissue development and balances sebum by restoring natural moisture levels.
Hydrasoft Lotion: (Irritation) (am & pm) ULTRA-light moisture lotion.
Visualift Eye Cream: NEW!!! Just featured TOP 75 in Town & Country magazine to lift and firm eye area while reducing fine lines and wrinkles!
Acne Fighter: Blemish spot treatment w/ benzoyl peroxide, sulfur, and aloe vera!

Yeah...this regimen may work for someone who is willing to pay upwards of $700 for skincare products on a regular basis. It may even work for someone who is very disciplined. This would never work for someone like me who has a short attention span, is extremely lazy, and who is lucky if she gets the shampoo and conditioner in the right order and walks out of the house in matching shoes in the morning.

Here are some tips for clearing your skin above and beyond your skincare routine:
-Drink at least 8 – 10 glasses of water a day…take half of your weight, divide by 8 = minimum glasses of water /day!!!
-Get plenty of sleep
-Avoid dairy products, shellfish, flour, sugar, and caffeine.
-Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and take a multivitamin.
-Consider a supplement such as apple pectin, spirulina, or acidophilus to aid in digestion!

Mmmkay. I do drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. I refuse to even enter my weight into a calculator to divide it by 8. Plenty of sleep? Check. Avoid flour, sugar, and caffeine? Not bloody likely. I already take a multivitamin, and do Prilosec and Lactaid count as supplements? I will probably just stick to Oxy products and complain about my acne just like any other adolescent would. P.S. exclamation points are unnecessary and unprofessional when you are trying to sell me something.

In other news: We received our first Christmas card of the season today from a couple you may know named George and Laura Bush. Please don't ask me how this happens every year, because I can't answer that.