If You Don’t Know Me By Now

You will never never never know me.

During the last season of Third Watch (may you rest in peace), one of the male characters who was from the city went to his girlfriend’s house in the country to meet her parents. The girlfriend’s dad was going to take him on a tour of the farm and the guy was all nervous and tried to make a joke. He said “did you know that cows are outstanding in their fields?”* The parents just looked at him blankly and one said “was that supposed to be a joke?” It was one of my favorite TV moments and I have not the slightest clue as to why it struck me as so funny.

Today I was shopping at Bed, Bath, & Beyond and I saw a kitchen towel with an embroidered scarecrow and the words “outstanding in my field.” I snatched it right up. Poor quality? Yes. Will I use it? No. Do I even decorate for Thanksgiving? Not really. It will be hung in a place of honor in my kitchen and I will try not to yell at people when they wipe their hands on it. I may keep it out all year long.

*Get it? Like certain professionals are outstanding in their fields and cows are out standing in their fields. It’s hilarious for Pete's sake.