Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Dear Me,

Hi! How are you? Fine I hope.

Listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about your ugly-ass work shirt collection. What gives? You used to have standards and acceptable taste. You've always liked solid colors and simple patterns. That's why I can't understand why you continue to purchase garments like this:

Not only is the pattern hideous, but the cut? I don't think that was ever in style.

And how about this next one? Just because something costs $7.99 at Ross does not mean you need to own it. And while it's a plus that it doesn't require ironing, that doesn't mean it won't melt if exposed to an open flame, or your car seats for that matter. And who is this Susan Lawrence and Suzie in the City of whom you are so fond? I've personally never heard of either of them.

And this one? That you wore with black pants in public TWICE before realizing it was actually dark brown? Grotesque. It may be passable if it was the only ugly shirt in your summer wardrobe, but lo it's just one of many. One of many.

Here's my advice: quit your bitching and go back to the mall for clothes you plan on wearing outside of the house. If you do happen to stumble into Ross, stick with the solids. Please heed my advice, I'm trying to be a friend here.



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Blogger Trish said...


I was never a fan of big prints and this is why.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Becky said...

funny. I think What Not To Wear has ruined all of us. I constantly look at my clothes and think - now what possessed you to buy that?!

12:40 PM  
Blogger MysteryGirl said...

This looks like something I would do/have done. Buy a similar...but not really, looking shirt in several different colors.
I've made that color mistake too. I have a pair of pants which I could totally swear is black, but in reality I believe is dark blue. I forget what shirt I wore which was supposed to match the black pants. But in the light of my former office, the pants were blue and it looked like a nightmare.

12:42 PM  
Blogger C. said...

No words. Still laughing...

You are back.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

I just deep-sixed the winter cousins of these beauties. What alien being possessed my brain and body at the time I purchased them???

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Girl, now you're writing to yourself. I'm a little concerned but very very amused.

1:03 AM  
Blogger Fightin' Mad Mary said...

Dare I admit it - I kinda like the top one...

10:43 AM  
Blogger Allygator said...

I am laughing so hard that I almost woke Jake up. Like that same kind of uncontrollable laughter you experience when someone farts on accident and you happen to be in earshot.

I just love you to pieces!!!

8:37 PM  

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