Thursday, November 16, 2006

Letters, We Get Letters, We Get Stacks and Stacks of Letters

Dear Pollyanna,

You’re the only person in my Bunko group who I’ve found I don’t care for. I’m sure you’re lovely, but you’re just not my cup of tea.

Maybe it’s the fact that you use my email address to try to sell your products. Maybe it’s your knack for turning every conversation back to you within 10 seconds. It could be that you never show any interest in anyone else or ask how she is. Oh, I know. It’s that we’ve known each other for almost a year, you’ve been inside my house, and you still call me Cary. That’s it. I refuse to correct you because I would then be denying myself an opportunity to roll my eyes at the women of substance surrounding you.

Step outside of your fantastic little life for a minute and get a clue.

Peace Out,

Cary

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Woman in the Publix Parking Lot,

Yes, I realize I was driving the wrong way down a one-way aisle. I did it on purpose. I assure you that no one’s car or person was in danger.

Did you know that as you pantomimed and bounced in your seat and said repeatedly that it was one-way I kept my face as impassive as I could as I stared at you? I understood what you were saying, therefore rolling down your window and trying to tell me a fourth time was completely unnecessary.

I sincerely hope this is the biggest problem you face today, as I don’t think you have the coping skills for a real crisis.

Best,
Your passive aggressive fellow driver

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6 Comments:

Blogger Allygator said...

Okay, when I first read this I was thinking that surely you must have been on a highway...why else would someone freak out like that. Hell, I do that all of the time. You are much nicer than me...I would have flipped her off. Just because.

8:29 PM  
Blogger C. said...

Cary, I'm surprised you only have one member of your bunko group like that. That's a bunko world record.

Next time blow the psycho a kiss in the parking lot and smile...it makes them almost explode. HA!

9:10 AM  
Blogger MysteryGirl said...

I hate when you correct your own name so many times that you finally have to give up.
I also hate that in every group there is one of those rub you the wrong way types. This must be why I don't play bunko.
I'm with allygator. I would have flipped her off too.

6:31 PM  
Blogger TL said...

What the hell is bunko???

11:48 PM  
Anonymous SLC said...

In my neighborhood, bunko is an excuse for the neighborhood ladies to get together once a month and eat, drink lots of wine (or beer), gossip, & catch up on what's going on in the neighborhood. Oh, also, bunko is a dice game. A fairly mindless dice game. But very fun.

Loved your letters!

There are actually 2 ladies in our bunko group that CONSTANTLY mispronounce another person's name. It's an unusual name, but not THAT difficult to say. It drives me nuts.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Cory said...

We do the exact thing at bunko - eat, drink, and gossip. Sometimes we even play bunko.

5:32 PM  

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