Wednesday, August 24, 2005

There Are No Words

Dear Littermaid Cat Box Corporation,

Recently I spent almost $100.00 on your “new and improved” litter box. If this is new and improved, I would be frightened to see the old version. Since bringing it into my home, I have been woken from a dead sleep more than once thinking that an intruder was breaking in, when in reality the sweeping arm was stuck and making such a loud noise that I had to get out of my bed to reset it. My cats have aged years from this sound and the unpredictable nature of this contraption. Your product is obviously so expensive because it comes with its own brain, but I want my money back because I got one with a schizophrenic brain. When it decides to sweep back and forth incessantly, get stuck, make bizarre noises, etc. my cats have taken to watching it in the pounce and attack position. I have no doubt that they spend their entire days watching it and waiting for the time that they have to attack it to protect themselves and their master because it has begun to walk around the house as if possessed by Satan. I bought this thing because it is supposed to be self sufficient, and cleaning the cat box is not one of my favorite chores. I now spend more time playing in this box than I did playing in the sand box in elementary school. I already have a Zen garden, thanks for asking, so I do not appreciate the added benefit that others may get by raking the litter and making pretty patterns. Have I mentioned the huge mess that this product makes? I am tired of walking around with cat litter stuck to the bottom of my feet. I recommend that you get back in your lab and start from scratch making a product that is at the very least functional, then work your way up to one that you can legitimately call “new and improved.”

Hating you more every day,
Cory and Cats

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