Two Additional Reasons Why I Need to Move ASAP

I have listened to the same morning radio show for the past 12 years. Lex and Terry originated here and have apparently blown up and are now syndicated all over the country. Good for them, but bad for me. Recently they accepted a contract with Clear Channel Radio which owns half the universe from what I can tell. Because of some "no compete clause" in this contract they can't broadcast here until at least next February. That leaves me with a very wholesome show on a station I'm pretty sure is owned or at least governed by the First Baptist Church. The second option is MJ in the Morning who is such a moron that he actually said that he needed to shake something "like a Polaroid picture" this morning. I thought DJ's were supposed to be up on current music, but he is approximately two years behind what is "hip" if he is still using that quote. I would even warmly welcome the ostracized and unemployed Bubba The Love Sponge at this point.

I have been meaning to take a picture of this for months so someone else could share in my pain, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. There is a psychiatrist here who specializes in detox or whatever. He's the type of medical professional whose website address is written on the side of his brand new Hummer that Medicaid probably paid for. He has a huge billboard with his picture on it and it says "Did Oxycontin Hijack Your Life?" "Rush" right in. Don't be in "Limbo." I suppose he is referring to that time Rush LIMBAUGH went into rehab. I think he needs to spend part of that Hummer payment on an advertising professional. I want to throw rotten eggs and bags of shit at this sign, but I haven't gotten around to that either.