Blogger is a Butthole

And that is why the first version of this post is lost forever. Let’s pretend it’s still Thursday, and I’ll owe you one.

Today I ate lunch at an authentic Jewish deli which is something that I usually enjoy immensely. Though I don’t have a taste for pickled herring or tongue, I do so love tuna/chicken/macaroni/potato salads made in the plainest and simplest manner, which is how I was raised eating them due to my father’s picky palate. I always feel confident that I can order a sandwich and not worry that there will be something random like mustard or raisins in the tuna salad.

I was in line behind a very grouchy old lady who was yelling at the Hispanic immigrant deli worker. The deli worker was asking her the same questions repeatedly in a very thick accent, and the hag was getting increasingly agitated. At one point she turned to me and said loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear “She doesn’t understand anything I’m saying!” Seeing as how I modify people’s behavior for a living, and the fact that I hate deliberate rudeness, I stared straight ahead, kept my mouth shut, and refused to join her in her theatre of cruelty. When it was finally my turn to order, the old lady cut me off at least three times to further berate the deli girl. After much huffing and puffing and writing a check for her order (you can do that?), the old lady left. As soon as she was out the door, the deli girl looked at me and said with perfect English dialect “She thought I couldn’t understand her. Ha ha ha!”

Score one for Hispanic immigrant deli workers everywhere.