Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Wednesday Will Now Be Story Day

Once upon a time Joe and I went to Cumberland Island, GA for the day. The only thing to do there is to hike around and picnic and get married if you're JFK Jr. There are animals like wild horses running all around, and everything is so tame that you can walk right up and touch it if you’re not afraid of losing your delicious hand. Among the animals were scads of armadillos which Southerners think of as leprosy-carrying pests, and if you haven't hit at least seven of them with your car, you should really be buying lottery tickets on a regular basis because you are luckier than average. While on our walk (I don't hike) we were following some Canadian tourists who were fascinated by the armadillos. One guy crouched down and took lots of photos with his very expensive camera. In the meantime Joe and I were having a contest to see who could touch the most armadillos with the toe of their shoe, because we’re mature like that. We made up this game because in the real world you couldn't get within 10 feet of an armadillo unless it was road kill. Anyway, when we noticed that the enthralled Canadians had reached the high point of their vacation, we had to walk far away from them so all the laughing and the making fun could commence.

Fast forward several months. Joe and I are on vacation in Mexico. We are on the beach near some houses, and someone had put up some cutesy sign in their yard that said "Iguana Crossing" or "Beware of Iguanas" or something. There was an iguana literally perched on the sign and the irony of it all was more than I could bear. I immediately crouched down and took lots of photos. As I returned to my beach chair it occurred to me that the locals were probably walking far away so that they could laugh at and make fun of the stupid ass gringo who thinks taking pictures of native vermin is a worthwhile activity. I said to Joe "Oh my God, do you think this is just like the Canadians taking pictures of the armadillos?" And he said "Definitely." Then we both looked around to see if anyone was pointing and laughing at me.

The End



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