I've Never Used The Words Flotsam and Jetsam Before In My Life

My love affair with argyle started in the fifth grade. For Christmas I received a baby blue sweater with pink and white argyle on the front and matching legwarmers. Yes, legwarmers. I was so Jennifer Beals in Flashdance standing at the bus stop in my new outfit carrying my Smurfs lunchbox. I would have beaten my own ass if I was an 8th grader at the time.

Imagine my delight when I saw that argyle was making a comeback in places other than the old men’s department at Sears. Yesterday I wore my new fuzzy sweater and had a miserable day. It’s odd how acrylic can feel so soft to the touch, but once you put it on it feels like tiny pins are pricking you all over. I made the mistake of wearing black pants and had blue lint down to my ankles by the end of the day. I even had to take out my contacts because some of the flotsam and jetsam got into my eyes. When I got home I tore off the sweater and seriously contemplated returning it to the store or throwing it in the trash. But it’s too pretty, so expect another post in the future about how uncomfortable it is.