Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Why I Feel Old Part II

MySpace is a very dark place. It’s opened my eyes to a world I never wanted to see. If you’re not familiar with it, you can search names, schools, zip codes, etc. to look for people you know. I’ve done all of the above and I’ve discovered a portal into hell, or at least into John Malkovich's head.

I’ve learned that a friend’s ex-boyfriend is quite possibly illiterate, and I’ve seen pictures of him in his underwear that I was never meant to see. I’ve learned that kids I babysat for get knee-walking drunk every weekend. That’s no big deal since I did the same thing at their age, but I didn’t post pictures of myself on the internet so someone could show them to my parents. I’ve learned that some people in my hometown are racist (not a huge surprise). It’s pretty obvious when their URLs contain the words “I hate N******.” Equally disturbing to the liberal usage of the N word was Christine’s discovery of a profile belonging to a little boy who we babysat years ago. The sweetest, cutest, most innocent boy who once told his mom he "fweated" (sweated) rather than peed his bed, is now 18 and his interests include “gettin laid and smokin Chronic.” I didn’t need to know that. In my mind he’s remained 3 years old, just like the last time I saw him. Do you think it would hurt his action with the ladies if I left him a message saying Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold?.

7 Comments:

Blogger MysteryGirl said...

I have not explored the underworld of myspace. I don't even know how it works. But now I'm very curious. I'd love to know what the kids I used to babysit are doing these days. If I need help searching I'll let you know.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Fightin' Mad Mary said...

I've been trying so hard to not open a myspace account - I just may have to now.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Cory said...

I was pressured into it. It's amazing how many people have one.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Allygator said...

The only reason you didn't post drunk pictures of yourself on the internet in high school is because there WAS NO INTERNET when we were in high school!!!

I'm kidding...you would never do that! But hell, I probably would have!!!

Oh, could you imagine how much worse life could have been if the internet had been around back then? Teenage girls are brutal to each other...it was bad enough when people merely wrote notes behind your back, but could you imagine what they could do on the internet?!?

Don't feel old...feel grateful! I know I do!

10:51 AM  
Blogger C. said...

That is my proof that there is, indeed, a God. Just think if we would have had the internet...I can only do it for about a minute, then things get so bad I have to stop.

HB would have been the least of our concerns.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Allygator said...

Damn straight, Christine!

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Oh, Cory! So true. Myspace is a dangerous, dangerous place...much like witchraft. It can be used for good or evil. You have obviously seen it used by the *darker* side (dum.dum.dum).

My playtime on there makes me think of your more recent post...I'll imagine myself as Glenda the good Myspace witch, happily spreading amusement and sarcasm wherever I go (or else boring,overly confessional nonsense, depending on my mood).

In any case, you've made me curious. I never thought to search for kids I babysat. But I think I may be better off not knowing what mischief they've gotten into these days.

Excellent post!

12:31 PM  

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