I Am Not Very Bright: An Essay In Photos

This morning I wasted several hours sorting through CDs of pictures in an attempt to organize and compress. Is compress the right word? I don't care right now, and that will all make sense later. The whole time I was working on the pictures, I knew in my mind that it was to reduce the number of CDs in my possession, an attempt to further purge clutter from my life. Three hours into the project it occurred to me that CDs don't take up very much space at all.

This afternoon I made my first loaf of gluten-free bread in the bread maker. It turned out like this:


And also like this:


I really don't think it's my fault that it turned out 1/3 of the size it was supposed to. I think the yeast was dead. The dough did look like the blob brother Chet was turned into in the movie Weird Science. How is it that I can still remember his name?

This evening I ate a big dinner, then decided it was time to do a little gardening. Anyone who knows me will say that I don't like hard work, and I don't like the heat. It reached 99 degrees today with a million percent humidity. But really, this flower bed looked terrible. It was a mish mash of several different flowers and bushes which clashed and has been preventing us from winning our development's "yard of the month." Note how big that bush is on the right:


It is great to be a Florida Gator, but not in my freaking yard:


I dug out everything in the aforementioned flower bed. By my own damn self.


I had to lie down in the grass a few times and I'm still seeing spots and in grave danger of vomiting. No snake sightings, but if I were afraid of lizards I would already be dead, rather than waiting to die of heat stroke later tonight.