Stuff That Couldn't Wait For Tomorrow

1. I am enthralled with the idea that Janet Jackson has a secret daughter. It's so Flowers in the Attic or something. There is a serious flaw in this rumor though that I think even the most common of idiots could figure out:

18 Secret love child's age.
+18 Age Janet was when said love child was born
___
36

39 = Janet's current age. Are my math skills that bad? Also the source of all this info is someone named Young DeBarge of the musical DeBarge family. I don't know how much credibility a man named Young has.

2. When did Angelina Jolie become America's sweetheart? I will shamefully admit that I watched her E! True Hollywood Story this weekend and I was reminded of why everyone thought she was such a weirdo. Remember the vials of blood and finding Billy Bob Thornton attractive and french kissing her brother and wrecking all those homes? Now she's so wonderful because she's so beautiful and sexy and she adopted disadvantaged kids and does so much work with the U.N. blah blah blah. I never knew that 3 years of humanitarian work could erase your past and make you the best person on earth.

3. I need someone to stage an intervention ASAP because I can't stop downloading music from iTunes. I'm rediscovering all this old music from days gone by. If I had to listen to one song over and over until the end of time it would be "Live Forever" by Oasis. I love this song so much that I would play it at my funeral if it wasn't so godamned ironic. I really have to go to work now.