People Who Annoy Me and Why

1. Sandra Lee: because she pronounces it “strawburries.”
2. Kirsten Dunst: because of her teeth and voice.
3. Dominic Monaghan: because of his teeth and voice.
4. Rachael Ray: I don’t think this one needs an explanation, but reasons include wearing great big bands of orange eye shadow, and using words like “yummo.” Did you know that she’s going to be Oprah’s new Nate Berkus? That makes me sick.
5. Katie Holmes: because she bites her tongue when she smiles. I tried it, it doesn’t feel natural, AND it hurts. I’m not ready to talk about her pregnancy yet, but I just watched Batman Returns and she can’t act for shit.
6. Tara Reid: because she’s too old for this behavior, and she’s an embarrassment to the human race.
7. Nicole Richie: because she has done everything in her power to not look like she’s mulatto.
8. Peter Sarsgaard: because he is creepy in a “put the lotion in the basket” kind of way. I hate his voice and I just saw Kinsey and he was completely naked and he kissed Liam Neeson. For a long time. It made me uncomfortable. (I hate explaining my references, but the above is from Silence of the Lambs, duh).
9. Maggie Gyllenhaal: because there’s something wrong with her nose/mouth area and she dates #8.
10. Me: because I can only think of lists with odd numbers.