Not A Lot Surprises Me Anymore

The other night I had dinner with Beverly and enough alcohol was consumed that we thought it would be fun to go to the um, adult novelty store next door. I won’t go into detail about seeing things that I was never meant to see, and whose images are now burned into my brain forever. Screw it, I have to tell you about the sex swing that was suspended from something that was as large as an outdoor swing set frame. We stood in front of it for several minutes while we discussed where one would hide this thing if they ever had company over. There was a sign posted at the register that said “We will not accept hurricane relief cards as payment.” I couldn’t resist asking the clerk if someone had actually tried that. She said “Yeah, someone wanted to buy a couple of movies. I guess food and shelter weren’t very high on his list of priorities.”