Monday, October 10, 2005

Very Wordy Tidbits

Ooh! Two posts with Oprah references in one day. Aren't you lucky? It was so adorable to watch Ricky Martin pretend to be straight today while singing a duet about a woman with a woman.

I've been reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey and it just got interesting 2/3 of the way in. Now I am rationing it because I don't want it to end. Am I the only one who does that?

Onto Breaking Bonaduce. Danny, Danny, Danny. How I wish I worked for child protective services so that I could remove your children from your crazy ass and that of your enabling wife. My favorite scene in the movie Mr. Mom is when Michael Keaton drives his son to school and goes in the wrong entrance and his son says "You're doing it wrong." Then he finally gets up to the school and one of the other moms says "You're doing it wrong." You would really have to see the movie to understand how funny it is. Anyway, Mr. Bonadumbshit tried to kill himself this week by slitting his wrists horizontally in the style of an adolescent crying out for help. There is not one thing funny about suicide, but I'm pretty sure I yelled at the TV "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" at least once. Thank God he didn't show any impressionable suicidal people the proper way to slit one's wrists. He is an attention-seeking idiot and I'm surprised he's lived this long. I cannot believe that he actually signed the release forms to have this show aired after some of the embarrassing behaviors he displayed. That check from VH1 must have been huge.

I made a wonderful discovery yesterday. I always thought that Proactiv stuff was a bunch of hooey, plus it has like 16 steps and I just can't be bothered. Especially if it cuts into my sitting on the couch time. Well I tried the mask and my skin has never looked better. It is smooth and has been cleansed of all impurities. I can't believe I'm in love with a product that Jessica Simpson hawks. I won't even sample her Desserts line because I wouldn't want to tempt myself.

I've been watching Supernanny lately out of sheer desperation. I also like to see how much of her advice is based in behavior modification. What a nerd I am. Supernanny Jo speaks in a very thick British accent and likes to say "That's what I'm talking about!" repeatedly. Um, I'm pretty sure that my friend Bucky made up that expression back in 1997 and it was never meant to be said in a British accent. It was already overused by the time it made it halfway around the world.

Tonight Joe had a work meeting and said he wouldn't be home until late. When I got home I stripped off my work pants and started to make a pot roast. He just walked in an hour ahead of schedule and I said "See what happens when you come home early? Dinner's not ready and I'm in my underwear."

Don't you want to come over? I think Supernanny is on tonight and we'll be eating pot roast at approximately 9:00 p.m.

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