Forever a Townie

My fair city Freakville is divided by various bodies of water. One includes the intracoastal waterway, which divides the beach from the city. This is widely referred to as “the ditch,” though never, ever by me. (I don’t call the Atlantic Ocean “the pond” either, so bite me if you think I should.) I love the beach. I love to vacation at the beach. I may even consider living at the beach one day. I will never adapt the beach mentality though. I will always remain a “townie,” because that’s what you’re called when you live on the inland side of the ditch. I bring all this up because it has been in the 20’s and 30’s this week, and when I saw some people at the beach the other day, they were still wearing flip flops and shorts. I don’t get beach people. I hate how they walk in the middle of the streets at a very slow pace, how they pull their bicycles out right in front of you on busy roads, how they "ride out" category 4 hurricanes like it's a joke, and how the very old women still feel like they can walk around in just bikinis. I don’t know if this is all beach towns, or if there is just such a noticeable contrast here. Once a guy in front of me in the Burger King Drive Thru was not in a vehicle, but on rollerblades. I also saw a woman coming out of Starbucks with her pet ferret on a leash. These things happened on the same day, and I was the only one who seemed to think they were strange. I’m sure I’m missing out on quite a lot by not spending more time at the beach. Things other than drunks yelling at passing cars, crawfish festivals, and women sunbathing nude on their balconies. That’s okay though. I’ll just continue to get whatever it is that I need from the beach and speed back over the ditch to the safety of my people – the marginally normal.