Little House of Horrors
We took a little trip this weekend. I've made the decision that I don't like bed
and breakfasts. They're great in theory, but I always feel like I'm staying in a
stranger's grandmother's house. This one was especially bizarre. Let's take a
tour:
Ooh, look how pretty! It was chosen for it's "Carribean feel." We were greeted
by a cute dog and cat who ran up to our car. Before we got in the house, the
dog started humping the cat. They were both females.
Here's a back view. Still so pretty.
Look at the view from the back yard. What a delight!
Let's go inside now:
Someone's obviously a collector.
Funny how none of these collectibles were visable during the online tour I
took.
Like these:
Or these:
And what the hell are these?
But this is the one that really gave me nightmares. What's that strange glow,
you ask? Pure evil.
This reminded me of that SNL sketch with the Nunis. You know "No, I am
Nuni. She is Nuni." This belongs in their house.
And hey Martha Stewart, you don't get to control me when for two nights I'm
paying you the equivalent of a week at the Best Western.
More later on the great time we had.
and breakfasts. They're great in theory, but I always feel like I'm staying in a
stranger's grandmother's house. This one was especially bizarre. Let's take a
tour:
Ooh, look how pretty! It was chosen for it's "Carribean feel." We were greeted
by a cute dog and cat who ran up to our car. Before we got in the house, the
dog started humping the cat. They were both females.
Here's a back view. Still so pretty.
Look at the view from the back yard. What a delight!
Let's go inside now:
Someone's obviously a collector.
Funny how none of these collectibles were visable during the online tour I
took.
Like these:
Or these:
And what the hell are these?
But this is the one that really gave me nightmares. What's that strange glow,
you ask? Pure evil.
This reminded me of that SNL sketch with the Nunis. You know "No, I am
Nuni. She is Nuni." This belongs in their house.
And hey Martha Stewart, you don't get to control me when for two nights I'm
paying you the equivalent of a week at the Best Western.
More later on the great time we had.
posted by Cory at 7:07 PM
6 Comments:
This is truly frightening and backs up my gut feeling that I should never, ever go to a B & B. Thank you for posting this! I hope you guys managed to have a wonderful anniversary despite the horrors.
WTF??? were any of those things in your room??? i'd have moved them in the hall.
I am seriously laughing so uncontrollably hard that tears are rolling down my face. You know, like the way you laugh when someone farts and you hear it?!?
Dude, those dolls were creepy as HELL! What was the name of that place?!? I swear I think my friend, Marcie, got married there!!!
Holy shit. Dude, this is AWESOME. You should write B&B reviews. In fact, you should have your own line of travel guides...Sourpuss Does ______ (fill in the blank): Travel is Not for the Faint of Heart.
Yikes!! I'm going to have nightmares. Dolls totally creep me out.
I was screaming laughing/crying while I read this post!!! Oh my God, didn't the humping dog/cat give you a clue as to the wackiness you were about to experience inside. The sex swing on the porch really said "Welcome the Fuck Inside!" You forgot to take a picture of the dildo wall.... or didn't they let you in the basement?
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