Thursday, February 23, 2006

I'm What You Would Call An Asshole

Last week I broke down and bought a new cell phone. I figured I needed it since I dropped the last one so many times that pieces were falling off and it was pulling my hair each time I used it. I knew I needed some kind of hands free thing too, because I loathe talking on the phone unless I’m driving. Oh yeah, and to spare the lives of many innocent pedestrians and fellow drivers. I opted for one of the Bluetooth things, and I finally figured out how to use it last night. This morning I was talking to Christine and this is where I became an asshole:

Me: I’m using my new ear piece so I don’t kill anyone today.
Her: Is it one of those Bluetooth ones?
Me: Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m not going to wear it around all day like some pretentious asshole so everyone knows I have a Bluetooth.
Her: Oh. My husband wears his all the time.
Me: Whoops!

I’d like to apologize now to Christine and G. and to everyone else who gets offended by my sweeping generalizations on a daily basis. I can admit that I was wrong just this once, because now I know the glory that is Bluetooth technology. I have been wearing the thing all day, and I get so much done! I can talk and type at the same time! I’ll just try to keep it hidden under my hair so people don’t roll their eyes and think I’m using it as a status symbol and call me an asshole behind my back. Kind of like I used to do.


Blogger Allygator said...

I'm laughing my ass off right now...that's really fucking funny!!!!

1:35 PM  
Blogger Fightin' Mad Mary said...

I'm the biggest A**hole of them all walking around this fancy Hollywood Studio lot talking on my blue tooth...maybe someone will think I'm an important A**hole producer or something.

Hold on - I've got a call - talk at ya later.

3:20 PM  
Blogger C. said...

Are you kidding me? You could call me an asshole to my face and I wouldn't take offense to it! I think blue tooth wearers look like assholes too (sorry, fmm!!!). It makes me crazy every time he uses it, but he's all into technology and shit and has to have the newest everything as soon as it appears.

Don't even worry about this!

3:59 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Welcome fellow asshole!!!! I actually hate to wear mine but it really is convenient!

6:13 PM  

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