Thursday, June 29, 2006

Reasons Why I Dislike My Next Door Neighbors

  1. They let their large dog defecate in my yard.
  2. They don't mow their lawn until it looks like a wheat field at harvest time.
  3. They ask that any car blocking their driveway by a fraction of a centimeter immediately move.
  4. They have parties and don't invite us (I wonder if it's because they've noticed the mothballs we placed at our property line to keep their dog the hell out?)
  5. They have a broken down car in their driveway. At least it's not on concrete blocks. Yet.
  6. Once their daughter was having a yard sale and tried to get me to buy some of her toys. When I asked what she was raising money for, she said "My mom's bills, I guess." I have a problem with young children being that burdened.
  7. Someone around here is using my wireless connection, effectively slowing my shit down. I don't know who it is, but I don't dislike anyone else on this block, so I blame them.
  8. The remote control for their ceiling fans are set to the same frequency as ours, which causes us to wake up either sweating or freezing unexpectedly.
  9. I suspect that they're probaby very nice.
  10. They obviously dislike us too.


Blogger MysteryGirl said...

OMG! That one about the ceiling fans is freaky.
As for the hijacking of your internet, you should secure the network. If you want A. to help you with it, let me know. He could walk you through it over the phone. I think it has to be them since they are right next door.
I don't currently have a dog problem, but if I ever do I will remember about the moth balls.

8:34 PM  
Blogger mk99 said...

Too funny. But great ideas to torture people with.

I have a co-worker/friend that had neighbors they didn't like and her teenage son would go outside with the universal remote and f**k with their television. They weren't smart enough to figure it out.

9:13 PM  
Blogger C. said...

Maybe they will suddenly move like the ice princess that lived two doors down from me.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Rasheed said...

We have "Good Will Hunting" as a common point between us. May be if you visit my blog, you'll find other interesting things. I'm trying to make it multi-langual (english, french, arabic, italian and spanish) to get the maximum of friends around the world:


9:12 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

They can't mow the lawn because their dog poops there, too. Mowing over dog poop must be so disgusting. Better to let the grass just grow & grow. Maybe you should try feeding the mothballs to the dog? Oops, I didn't say that - my evil side took control of my body for a moment and typed that in. Never feed mothballs to a dog! Maybe you should feed the mothballs to your neighbors?

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

i just want you to know that if you were my neighbor i would invite you to every one of our parties!!

10:18 AM  

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