An Ode To Star Jones, Sung To Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River"

*Alternate titles include "I have too much time on my hands," and "I will probably delete this post tomorrow."*


You were obnoxious
You were a bitch
But you didn't know all the ways we loathed you, no
So you took a chance
ABC made other plans
But I bet you didn't think your gig would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from The View
Now there's just no chance, for you and Rosie, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it?

You told us you did pilates
Why did you lie about losing weight?
Now you tell us your doctors helped you
Was gastric bypass your fate?

Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With one of your fans
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That some things are better left unsaid
Is that what they mean when they say your husband's gay?
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things The Insider told us
Keep messing with my head
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out on The View
Now there's just no chance, for you and Barbara, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it?

You told us your contract wasn't renewed
Did you lie for the pity?
Yesterday you tell us you were fired
When you were supposed to wait until July

Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With one of your fans
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
The damage is done
So I guess you'll be leaving
Oh
The damage is done
No more on-air product plugs
Oh
The damage is done
See you never
Oh
The damage is done
So I guess you'll be... leaving