So Not a Morning Person

I do not function well on less than 8 hours of sleep. Ok, if we’re being completely honest – I don’t function that well on less than 9 hours of sleep either. Which is reason #43 why I’m not ready to have a child. Anyway, I got approximately 4 hours of sleep Thursday night, stretched over a 9 hour period. The reasons are many: I drank lots of iced tea with dinner; the evil pain in my right ear has returned and is holding my sinuses hostage as well; and the majority of my immediate family was on a transatlantic flight to Italy. I tried the bed, I tried painkillers, I tried the couch. Each time I would drift off the ear pain returned, or an overweight cat would walk on my chest. Let’s get back to the point of the story, which is that I don’t function well on not enough sleep. Friday morning I was too tired to clean the coffeemaker and make a fresh pot, so I was starting my day off right with a big glass of Coke. Which I knocked over in the bathroom. It splashed all over the walls, me, the shower curtain, and the cream colored bath mat. Oy vey. After mopping this up to the best of my ability, one cat snuck into the bedroom where she began to eat the house plants. This is the specific reason she is not allowed in the bedroom. I picked her up, she scratched me, and then I noticed that I had thick black cat hair all over my white shirt. God! I felt like I had lived a full day and it wasn’t even 9:00 a.m. If you were in my neighborhood Friday morning and heard a lot of loud swearing and saw a woman in a grey shirt with a wild, pissed off look in her eyes, that was me. Nice to meet you.