We Don't Need No Education

As I’ve mentioned before, my friend Beverly has begun teaching school this year. Her students are um, “special.” Today she had a seven-year-old boy yell “Fuck you bitch! Kiss my ass! Kiss my doo doo!” (I’ve been around a long time and nobody has ever told me to kiss his doo doo.) She had to put him in the time out room, which incidentally I would wear out if I were her. He yelled and screamed more obscenities at her. Don’t tell the school board, but she then turned off the light and he yelled “Aaaaah! I want my momma!” She turned the light back on and he yelled “Fuck you bitch! Kiss my ass!” She played this game a few more times, and then let him out of the room.

She called and asked me if I wanted to meet for a drink this afternoon. One drink is all we agreed on. It is solely that kid’s fault that we drank a pitcher of the strongest margaritas on earth, and that I ate an order of take out flan with my fingers on the drive home. When I wake up tomorrow with a hangover, he can kiss my doo doo.