Because I Like to Rate Stuff

Steak and Shake’s Banana Split Sippable Sundae – Could this sound any better? It was a delicious blend of banana milkshake, strawberry sauce, hot fudge, nuts, and whipped cream. That you suck through a straw! Without having to eat any actual healthy bananas! I never use exclamation points! At first I was put off by the color as it was sucked up through the straw. I would compare it to Bertie Bott’s Jelly Bellies, maybe the earwax or booger color. It was delicious as long as I sipped with my eyes closed. I couldn’t finish it, and had real feelings of nausea towards the end, so I think it served its purpose. B+

Dry by Augusten Burroughs – What a cliché to say that “it made me laugh, it made me cry,” but it really did. I want to be this man’s friend, his “fag hag” if you will. He is an amazing writer and has had such an extraordinary life. I read that a movie adaptation is being made based on his book Running With Scissors. I enjoyed that book so much that I may boycott the movie because they will probably bastardize the story like they did with Prozac Nation, and then I really will have to stop reading altogether. A

Crisper’s Restaurant – Gross. It’s a place for salads and sandwiches and whatever. I have tried it twice and been thoroughly disgusted both times. The service is okay because they bring the food to your table and don’t accept tips. I just got a coupon in the mail for a free smoothie or frozen coffee drink. If I can find the energy, I will go one more time because anything they serve would have to be free at this point for me to consider consuming it. D-

Bath & Body Works Moonlight Path – I won this as a prize at a baby shower. The thought was very nice, but if I wanted to wear cheap men’s cologne, I would have bought my own Aqua Velva long ago. F

Monster In Law – I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this movie. It was very cute, though somewhat predictable. I normally avoid Wanda Sykes as often as possible, but she was perfect for her comedic one liners. Jennifer Garner is a dumb bitch for breaking up with Michael Vartan because he is very yummy. B