Quarterly Report on How Much Saturn Sucks

On Wednesday I discovered that I couldn't unlock my car with the remote, and that it wouldn't start once I got in. It is pretty fucking sad when you call your car dealership and all you have to say to the service manager is "Hi Laurie, this is Cory" and she knows exactly who you are and your car's history. I then called the stupid ass roadside assistance people and they said that someone would be out to tow it to the dealership. This all sounded so familiar. I asked if he could check my battery too, and she said it's either/or, but not both. Fine. I agreed to a tow. The man who came to tow the car said that he was there to jump the battery. I tried to tell him that I only wanted it towed, but he would not look at nor listen to me. I am apparently a dumb broad who is not worthy of his attention. In lieu of going completely crazy on his ass, I had to communicate with him via Joe. I had no problem getting my questions answered then The chauvinist fuck refused to tow my car since he got it started. We made it to the dealership without me breaking down at any red lights, or punching any of my car's windows out. I got a call on Thursday afternoon that they couldn't find anything wrong with the car or battery. Yeah, ok. That battery is three months old, but whatever. That sounds about right. Instead of turning to alcohol or prescription pain killers, I self medicated with a new ipod immediately after this ordeal. I am skipping my birthday next year. Maybe then there will be no hurricanes or car problems. I will always maintain my right to buy myself a birthday present though.