Monday, January 16, 2006

I Made a Rather Embarrassing Purchase at the Dollar Tree Today

I had forgotten all about how much Paige Davis annoyed the crap out of me, and how I stopped watching Trading Spaces for that reason alone.

Today I also realized that Rachael Ray is my new Paige Davis. Except that I want to cause Rachael bodily harm, whereas I’d be satisfied with just giving Paige a wedgie or a noogie. Did you ever hear that when you don’t like something about a person it’s because you don’t like that quality in yourself? Since Rachael Ray has been in my face every day for the past two years, I’ve discovered that I hate the following things about myself:

1. I wear a lot of orange and yellow eye shadow.
2. I bite my fork when I eat.
3. I use words like “yummo,” “delish,” “rock on.”
4. I call extra virgin olive oil “evoo.”
5. I’m a perky pain in the ass.


Blogger Allygator said...

Yeah, that's you. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!

I don't understand how these people can be in your face all day though - I don't even know who in the hell either of them are!

7:47 PM  
Blogger Cory said...

Rachael Ray dominates the Food Network and Paige Davis used to be on The Learning Channel. What have you been watching, Laguna Beach?

12:18 PM  
Blogger Allygator said...

LOL!!! No, but I definitely steer clear of any television show that involves food.

a) because it might prompt my husband to expect me to cook

b) because watching food being prepared sometimes makes me nauseous.

I never said I was normal!

12:18 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

I honestly did not know that eyeshadow came in shades of green or orange.

This is all my mom's fault. She refused to allow me to wear makeup till I was 17. I still don't know what half the stuff is for.

My daughter can wear makeup to daycare if she wants to!

5:38 PM  
Blogger Crescent said...

I know exactly what you mean! Rachel Ray's idea of gourmet is fancy ketchup on the Kraft mac and cheese instead of the generic.

6:51 PM  

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