Monday, January 23, 2006

This Post Is Brought To You By PMS

In my oh-so-realistic quest to become a size two before my class reunion, I joined Weight Watchers today. I made a psychologically healthy deal with myself that if I joined WW, I would not have to join Curves gym. Diet or exercise, but not both at once. Not having to get off the couch is my gift to me for having to measure everything I put in my yap. My friend Beverly finds this riotously funny.

I paid my money, then doubled over in pain when I saw how much I weighed. (I was right about those eggnog lattes.) Anyway, I tried my hardest to get my paperwork and get the hell out of there, but the lady made me stay because I had to-HAD TO-learn about the Core Plan, which I have no interest in whatsoever. I ended up staying only after I was told that statistics show that people who attend the meetings lose three times as much weight as those who try to do it on their own. The group leader was not just a Weight Watchers Lifetime Member Meeting Leader, she was Jan Hooks playing a hyperactive, super enthusiastic Weight Watchers Lifetime Member Meeting Leader on Saturday Night Live about 20 years ago.

Great. Now I'm fat AND old. And only one of you will even get the Jan Hooks thing, Christine. And 3x0 still equals 0.

7 Comments:

Blogger Carol said...

As a 20 time drop-out of Weight Watchers.. good luck to you. It really works as long as you eat what they want you to eat. The points thing is pretty easy. Some day I'll post about my favorite Weight Watchers moment!! You go girl!!!

8:31 PM  
Blogger T said...

Good luck baby girl... I give you tons o' credit. My theory is fat clothes for winter, worry about skinny when the sun comes out. Hopefully you get extra points for eating things with Mold ;) (been there done that one... ewwww)

9:28 PM  
Blogger mk99 said...

ROFL! I remember the SNL skit. That confirms it - I am older than shit.

WW works as well as any other program as long as you follow it. As a frequent WW flyer, I didn't find any help in staying for classes. Let's face it - we pay to be accountable to scales and a face once a week.

Hint: 3 point bars suck - Reese's Cups have 3 points!

9:29 PM  
Blogger C. said...

ok, here's the best way to lose weight before the class reunion. Get yourself into a very bad marriage with (an) Al Colic (i trust you guys all got that...i have to be veeeeeeeery smart about what i post since his ever so smarmy, douche bag attorney would have a field day if found out i posted that my ex was a freaking ALCOHOLIC. oh shit.) and decide the only way to control the situation is to turn into a nut case and basically stop eating and start exercising like mad. It works every time. For this reunion, however, I've decided it's a lot easier for everyone to see me fat and happy. : )

Seriously, remind me when we talk (18 times today), because i'd like to get all the details on the meeting...I've sort of been doing it on my own, but really need to offically join. Oh, and i got the jan hooks thing, of course, but what the hell is the 3x0 crap about?

8:37 AM  
Blogger Allygator said...

I got the Jan Hooks joke, so make that 2 readers who get it.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Cory said...

Thanks you guys. I like our little online community here.

Christine - if you lose 3 times as much weight by going to the meetings, and I usually lose no weight by going on diets: 3x0=0.

11:01 AM  
Blogger C. said...

Got it...I saw math and blocked it out.

1:44 PM  

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