This Brings a Happy Tear to my Eye

Mint Mojito gum! I don't even like gum, but I like mojitos enough to forget that fact.

Housekeeping

Mystery Girl - I cannot load your blog. Did you change sites again? Or is it something weird with my computer?

Preppy Princess - I'm locked out. I think you have to add my email address so I can sign in. That is, if you want to. I definitely enjoy reading it. If you respond I'll leave my address in the comments.

Mother of the Year

Today I was pumping gas when an SUV pulled up and I heard a woman screaming. I didn't hear the start of it, but what I did catch sounded like this (with no exaggeration):

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO PEE? YOU HAD THEM FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS AND YOU CAN'T FUCKING SEE IF THEY HAVE TO PEE? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

At this point we make eye contact because I couldn't help but stare. She got the baby out and then screamed at the toddler to get out of the car if she had to pee.

I finished pumping my gas and waited in my car to see if the kids were okay, since their mother was obviously teetering on the brink. She came out, threw the kids in the car, made sure I was still watching, then called the unlucky/irresponsible baby daddy:

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DORA BACKPACK? I HAD DIAPERS IN IT WHERETHEFUCKISIT? YOU HAD THEM FOR HOURS AND DIDN'T CHANGE HER DIAPER? WHERE'S THE BAG YOU FUCKHEAD?

Wow. This hurt me on so many levels. I don't know if the woman enjoyed the audience, or if she's always like this. I can see being mad at your ex, but come on. I can guess what that baby's first word is going to be.

Mom, You Asked Me to Post Again...

I recently gave my BFF a Paula Deen cookbook for her upcoming birthday. She writes about her family and different holiday traditions they have. At one point she says that she and her husband like to eat in the garden, then hit the hot tub with the MOTION LOTION. Eew. Seriously? In a cookbook? That her children are going to read?

Do I have a dirty mind or does motion lotion only mean one thing?

January in Florida is...

• A sweater and scarf paired with capri pants (saw this one today).

• Central heat in stores and offices cranked up the minute the temperature drops below 60.

• The time swimsuits and patio furniture are put on display in department stores.
  

• A wool overcoat worn with flip flops (saw this one last week).

• Confused fleurs.

Hollah!

I'm Pretty Proud of Myself

For not buying this today:

If you knew how close I came, you'd be proud of me too.

(Bed Bath & Beyond - I dare you.)

Resolutions

1. Let the little things go.
2. Get my blogging mojo back for longer than 3 days at a time.
3. Say No more often.
4. Cancel all magazine subscriptions that don’t cause me to squeal with joy upon their arrival.
5. Work more, stress less.
6. Resist the urge to say Fo’ Schizzle as often as I want.

Happy New Year

From Barbie, Skipper, and Evan's new chair, which I later learned he named Tiny Tim.